Yesterday, we lost the brilliant mind known to us as singer/songwriter Leonard Cohen. I’m feeling rather ambivalent about his passing and I suspect it has to do with the words posted below – his words, which come from his song “Hallelujah,” written in 1984. You see, that particular verse has been haunting me for a while now as I tried to understand what exactly it was that I loved about it aside from the obvious, that being the fact that it’s hauntingly beautiful. Love – a cold and broken hallelujah… Could this be so? I’ve spent weeks now allowing those words to play and replay in my mind while giving myself the time to come to terms with what they meant; not to Mr.Cohen, mind you, but to me. I think for a while there, I didn’t want to accept that almost sardonic view of love. It seemed too harsh, too grim, too lonely. But you know what? Screw that! I’m 42 years old and I should damn well know better. Love is not always (if ever) a willy nilly, airy fairy, cheerful, wonderful, happily ever after kind of thing. Ok? You with me?! Good. ‘Cause the thing is friends, love is actually more of a ‘roll your sleeves up, get your hands dirty, expect the unexpected, and prepare to have your heart ripped out and put back in place several times’ kind of a thing. Yeah, it’s that. Those who know me will understand what an epiphany this whole thing was for me and they’ll understand the guts it took for me to admit any of this out loud; because for a long time, for my sake as well as for all of yours, I convinced myself of something very different and I sold myself on it and I did my very best to sell it to all of you; but that ain’t happening anymore friends. You want to know why? Good – I’m about to tell you. Real love is messy. Yep, it’s dirty and it’s gritty and it’s rough as hell around the edges and it’ll reduce you to nothing and it will exalt you to EVERYTHING. Most of all, I can tell you beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is 100% worth the effort every time. Every. Single. Time. So, yes Mr. Leonard Cohen, you were right. Love is not a victory march. It’s a friggin’ cold and a broken Hallelujah. Thank you for helping me realize that as well as to finally understand the meaning of it all. Go softly into this good night Mr. Cohen. From the sound of things, you’ve more than earned it.
Yours Truly /CKG